farm life

i suppose the only way to start writing again is to write.

i've spent the past week at a sheep farm upstate in genoa, ny. a coworker and her husband own the place. it's also a woolen mill with pre-WWII equipment. this place is just loaded history and cool stuff. sheep, a goat, chickens that try to steal the dog food. a cat with brain damage that is as sweet as can be. oh and chicks! little baby chicks that have to be cared for and checked up on.

we go to diners for breakfast and drive around in a vegetable powered old benz. on memorial day the town of moravia had a parade that had more people following it than in it.

barn swallows with their forked tails are in the barn and lizzy, the dog who protects it all has killed at least two groundhogs and maybe a baby skunk while i've been here. every time she's awfully proud of herself.

one of the sheep is due to lamb any day now and her newborn will add to the boy triplets and a girl lamb named thistle.

i got the idea that i wanted to make ethiopian food and looked online for recipes. you be surprised how limited and awful some of the recipes are. when i looked for ethiopian cookbooks on amazon there was a total of one book. a book that is out of print. so i've pieced together some dishes and any day now the injera will be fully fermented and i'll attempt an ethiopian meal. if i don't fall over dead i'll post here about it.

things are pretty alright. still haven't found out if i'll be going to sea for the summer but hopefully i'll know soon enough. i'll either be spending six weeks in the middle of the pacific or i'll do some timesharing between berkeley and baja. i would love to be in new york for summer, with all its free cool outdoor activities but the heat, humidity and general stink make me miss berkeley all the more.

so we'll see. if my boss is fine with the telecommute then i'll put my stuff in storage, bow out of my month to month lease and live the rent-free life of home and baja.

i get to go to sea!

so i'll be flying out of jfk on wednesday and flying into houston! then we'll, i think, be spending the night in galveston before boarding a launch that will take us out to the langseth which is somewhere off shore. there are then two possibilities. one, on the ship doing 3d seismic stuff until the 17th or two, on the ship doing 3d seismic stuff until the 24th. either way, we'll be on the ship and doing 3d seismic stuff. also checking up on the multibeam bathymetry acquisition.

this should all be pretty cool. that is if i have sea legs and am not puking all over the place. supposedly there is internet aboard the ship (via satellite) and so if anything super cool happens i'll be sure to attempt to blog.

back in the city

home for twelve days went by so quickly. i can't even account for my time. all my pants are now tight as i was able to eat at:

smokehouse, gordos, la familia, zachary's, karin, lanesplitters, bongo burger, in n out, the farmer's market, nabolom, nation's, noah's bagels, jupiter, pyramid, rudy's can't fail, and probably some others i can't remember. mind you, some of these places i ate at more than once. i wish i were still full.

unfortunately i didn't make it to mario's la fiesta or intermezzo. next time those are top of my list.

what was really great was how many people i was able to see, although i didn't see everyone nor certain people for as long as i would've liked.

it's crazy to be home. to see your grown siblings interacting with your mother because they all live in the same house.

my bipolar aunt is still a couch fixture. the dogs have regressed to potty accidents in the house. and my birds, who now live on the front porch, don't always have fresh water. but i can't live there and fix everything. that's not my job currently. figuring out my life is my job currently. isn't it nice i have the luxury of self-determination.

spent way too much money while home. but that is a symptom of having a good time.

one highlight, of which i took no pictures, was walking around the uc botanic garden. dan was gracious enough to go with me. which reminds me, i should ask to see his pictures. looked like he was taking pictures of dew drops and repetitive patterns. it's interesting how a garden can share the same visual qualities as a hong kong market.

what i have a new fondness for are seed pods. or the idea of the extended garden. first saw this book(Seedheads in the Garden, Noël Kingsbury), i think, at the brooklyn botanic garden shop or maybe it was the ny one up in the bronx. anyhow. this was the perfect time of year to see all the seedheads and other sort of extended garden beauty. i want to come back the same time next year and take photographs. if you have a moment, head up to the garden and look around. truly is lovely.


casey lou, at the market, started making bread and butter pickles... of which i have eaten two jars since i've been back (four days). my bags are taking up all the floor space i have in my room and have spilled out into the living room and onto the couch. it's quite convenient that my roommates are gone until new years. that is almost a month of not seeing them. i wonder if we'll re-acclimate to living with one another.

in the knitting world i made no progress with the fingerless gloves i toted along with me for the trip. tonight i finished a baby hat only to realize it's too big and also the baby i had in mind has a mother with a severe allergy to wool. the yarn is 25% wool. maybe i can pick up some nice cotton or alpaca or just use the acrylic i have laying around. although, that has probably touched wool. i wonder if the allergy is that serious.


what i would really like to be knitting, and will as soon as i can budget it-- is:





wouldn't this be lovely in a rust color or some shade of dark teal or purple or brown or whatever color strikes me at the knit shop. (my current favorite is knitty city)

it would also be nice if i could finish all three pairs of fingerless gloves i have on needles as well as the purse i'm making from sari silk remnants, the bolero jacket i started three years ago or the numerous dog sweaters i've promised my mother.


anyhow. it would be nice to finish at least a few projects before starting something new.

beyond knitting:

i have long lists of things to do for work. data ingestion that i have to sit down for. priorities, procedures, maybe some calculating. oh and pamphlets to send to norway. at least there is variety and it looks as though i'll be going on the 3D seismic shakedown cruise this january! exciting business this is. ten days, currently scheduled for the 8th to the 18th, gulf of mexico, on the langseth.


this year's christmas movie has yet to be decided. i roped my friend jon into the chinese food and a movie, since he's actually jewish and i'm only faking it. veronica wants to see the great debaters, while i wouldn't mind seeing a whole list of movies: juno, before the devil knows you're dead, margot at the wedding, atonement, the diving bell and the butterfly, i'm not there, into the wild, the savages, charlie wilson's war, sweeney todd, maybe some others that are no longer in the theater because it's been that long since i've seen a movie in new york.

i went to see enchanted with alice, jacob and heather at the grand lake in oakland. it was showing in the egyptian room. that theater is the greatest.

but what i miss most of all and didn't get to see was the parkway. man, what i wouldn't give (well, i suppose if i had the money to give i'd head back west and just go) to go see movies at that place. why oh why oh why oh why can't new york have a place like the parkway?


but i digress, and what was i even talking about to begin with? currently i'm waiting to head off to the airport to pick up lizah and tyler...... their flight was delayed by four hours. that's right. i'm picking up at 4am. and not sleeping ahead of time. bring on the coffee. shit.

i've posted the pictures i took while home on my picasa page. not the best but not the worst. mom looks good. the cemetery where she runs the dogs is expansive and beautiful. she discovered it after point isabelle was closed because of the oil spill.

ok, now i head off for the airport.

so i just realized, after looking at my itinerary, that i'm flying home on the 19th... bad news because it means one less day in california, but good news because i'll make it back to new york for work's holiday party! yessssssssssssss.

tonight was a baking night. i made peanut butter chocolate chip pecan oatmeal cookies. yes. that's one cookie. five dozen were made and close to five dozen still remain. they'll be brought in to work tomorrow as part of my sneaky sneaky plot to lure people away from their diets.


and if i were truly a blogger at heart i would've taken a picture to post

[here].

new post

new york has finally turned to scarf weather. it's also probably jacket weather but i'm the one step at a time type. all the the winter activities are starting around now. ice skating, butterfly conservatory at the natural history museum, and cool indoor exhibitions at the different botanic gardens.

attempted to do the village halloween parade. and by do i mean watch. never again, way too many people. couldn't see a thing. and every girl had their ass hanging out. i know there's been a lot of press on how halloween has become an excuse to dress slutty but i think it's true. whore it up! but i'm not about to do it. way too self conscience for that. went to the knitting factory to see lesley's band slaywhore, you know, the all female slayer cover band and i'm a convert. i'll go see them whenever... as long as i can sit in the back and not interact with anyone.


it looks like i'll be home from december 7th or 8th to the 18th or 19th. haven't bought the ticket yet but will in the next week or so.

long long day

i want to float like a feather on a breeze. i want to spin around and around until the world blurs and my feet take flight. i want to nuzzle in a field of basil and swim in sediment rich waters.

today i was riding in a truck filled with plants and while at a stop light a pretty light yellow butterfly flew in the cab, took inventory of all the plants and then freaked out as we sped off- the changing speed was too much. i looked back at the butterfly flapping around the plants and the light was just right. the air was warm.

got shoes from kmart for $6.99, some child's small hands probably ran the sewing machine in their construction. the shoes persistently smell of rubber. they are navy blue canvas, i've worn them the past three days in a row.

mom found out today that the house they live in will be on the market as of january. mrs. charles wanted to give mom a heads up and a shot at purchasing. it would be nice if things fell in place. but it is also times like these where life feels completely out of your control. i wish my mother had a planning for the future gene. or even a planning for the next six months gene. and that i had the no need to be mean gene.

how can you tell if you're pretty or just average and vain? also, how does one tell the difference between someone who is nice and someone who is interested. and how much does pretty matter anyhow?

i want a puppy i can name pokey. wasn't there a children's book named poky the puppy? i think it's better with an 'e'.

my room looms before me with unpacked clothes and bags and boxes. i avoid everything in my room but the bed. the bed i snuggle in, nuzzle in, loose hours to sleep in.

the first of my forwarded mail came today. in celebration i'm having peppered brie and stoned wheat thins for dinner. although to be honest, i'd probably've had the same thing even if the forwarded mail hadn't come.

saw breakfast on pluto last night. love love love it. although when films have people with down syndrome portrayed in inclusive ways i'm always more partial.

haven't much felt like posting. it's this cycle of not wanting to post, feeling guilty for not posting, and then posting lame ass stuff because you have no inspiration for good stuff.

i have a huge backlog of photos that need to be uploaded to google and that just ain't happening anytime soon. this little laptop of mine is driving me crazy and i covet the new imac like crazy. but even if i could afford to breath near the apple store i still wouldn't want to get it until october when leopard comes out. i mean, who's going to buy anything now when the updated operating system (which looks so cool) is just about here.

and the housing search isn't going particularly well. i looked at some places, and one was amazing and huge and bright and clean. they gave the room to a friend and i swear, every other apartment i've looked at is dark, dingy and dirty.

ash's roommate christina wants me to move in there. share a room with ash. which i could do, we might even not kill each other but the roommate drama at that apartment is kind of crazy and the kitchen space is super limited and there's an electric range. i mean, who can live with an electric range. the biggest selling point is no deposit. i could just move in. and this would be great because i is poor. i am just pulling myself out of the hole i was in and this whole moving thing doesn't help anything.

what i need to do is get a weekend job. or some sort of events thing. or freelance. what i need are some marketable skills. and let's be honest, this pretty face isn't going to get me anywhere. especially since it gets fatter by the day.

yeah, i need to work on that too.

seeing more rooms this week. ash and her roommates talk about the idea of me moving in tomorrow. and if they say yes then i'll do that. i mean, no deposit is no deposit.

i've pretty much played a shut in the whole weekend and loved it. did quick errands saturday but beyond that i've just marinated in my sweaty, stuffy apartment. listened repetitively to a few songs, drank in the bath and watered the garden, each time running my hands through the basil, mint, cilantro and tomatoes- pausing in between each to smell the lingering scents on my fingers.

next week is the week of social interaction. pool potluck at a coworkers either wednesday or thursday (weather depending), full moon party (organized by me) friday night and my big 25 coney island birthday bash saturday night.

i'm glad i decided to plan something and invite people over a week from the date. the closer to the date the less i'm going to want to celebrate or organize anything. this way there's no backing out.


tonight i'm going to try to go to this slow dance thing. i just like the idea of free and night time. maybe take some pictures if too many people aren't doing the same thing.

out of the twenty or so resumes i've sent out i've gotten two call backs. oh yeah, job searches are fun. i can't imagine how it would be if i were looking for a real job. i mean, something beyond an admin.

next week i'm back to 5-1am at trader kiss my ass. but this is good because then i can interview during the day. i am going to quit. when i'm not sure yet but i'm going to quit and maybe do just temp work until i find a real job. reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaalll job. since i'm working nights that means that i'm home alone all day, which then means i'm in my underwear all day and the cat tries to ignore me as much as possible. i was going to do dishes but maire got to them first. so now i'm trying to figure out what around the house i can do... i'll figure it out i'm sure.

here are our new house plants. and we're growing basil. so we have tons of basil sprouts springing up all over the place. exciting!

i just washed my clothes in the bathtub. that's right. in the bathtub and once all the water is done draining i'll have the task of wringing it all out and then setting it out to dry in the backyard. this is what my life is reduced to. all because i can't manage to put together an edible coverletter. my paycheck came in and with $50 from my mother (thank you very much) i'll be able to cover rent. but that is all it will cover, no money for laundry or my alternative, to buy new clothes that aren't dirty. all the while my capable self is hiding somewhere just out of reach. at least i have the cat for company in these adventures. the thing is i need to get momentum for these things so it's good that i have tomorrow off as well as today because maybe by tomorrow i'll have stewed enough to actually do what i need to do. i'm suppose to go thrift store shopping with ebonee tomorrow and i guess it will just be window shopping, funny thing about that is it's only when i know i can't buy anything that i find what i'd love to buy. and the camper boots that i want (see post some spots below) are now in stock in my size. i need boots for fall and winter. they would be perfect. so my tasks for today are as follows:

-finish laundry
-map expenses for november
-return library books
-coverletters, damnit!
-kitchen, unload dishwasher, reload dishwasher
-sweep, maybe

ah, domestic bliss.

when maire gets home i'll use her phone to take pictures of the new plants we have about the house and post them later tonight. the place is really starting to feel homey despite the lack of us doing much.

you're dirty and sloppy

our fridge is amazing. the cheese and meat drawer is awe inspiring. we actually make meals. well, at least once a week we make a meal, but those last a few days if not half the week. of course last week when i made pork tenderloin of course i cut my finger chopping potatoes. i think i can take the band aid off soon. never complain that your knives are too sharp. yesterday maire made chicken paprikash. ukrainian food tastes good.


so the schedule for this weeks is all 6am starts and i think it might kill me. ok, so i'm not going to die over it but i get ridiculously tired. i need to put the job search in overdrive but it's so hard to get motivation. and really, cover letters totally impair me. i mean, what do you say, what tone should it be in, how 'real' should you be? i'm horrible at marketing myself. never wanting to gloat or promote my abilities, well, at least not in a serious manner. so, it's me, working at a grocery store, sorry, a unique grocery store, not able to pay all my bills and not having my period in over three months. stressssss.

but not to worry, i still have the highlights of life intact:

flossing
the meat and cheese drawer of my fridge
eye cream
reading on the subway
vicarious living
shapeless, shiftless non-direction


okay, 7:41pm, almost my bed time. yeah, early to bed, early to rise. oh and tomorrow is halloween. oh and we're allowed to wear a costume tomorrow... yeah right, like i'd humiliate myself like that. interacting with the public blows.

living in brooklyn

never go naked on the hotel bedspread. that is the advice i've taken from today's csi:miami marathon. the rest of it went way over my head.

my one month anniversary was three days ago and i didn't even realize because on a daily basis i have no idea what day it is. day of the week? sure! but day? no. i don't want to know the day, the day leads me on a countdown to bills being due and then highlights the lack of money to pay said bills in a timely fashion. my employment with trader joe's is currently a week old although i'm not sure when payday is. maire is right, the harder you work the less you make. i need to find the job where you aren't fufilled but at least you have money to pay bills and travel. i mean, at tj's not only am i not fufilled but i'm not making enough for all the bills and i get home exhaused. the new schedule for this week is 3pm to 12am, daily, at least the hours will stack up.

check list:

find cushy job
bills, bills, bills
get digital camera, turn this into a photo blog of sorts- maybe a flicker account??
open water swimming, wave of the future
peanut farming, wave of the future
finish gravity's rainbow, damnit