i want to float like a feather on a breeze. i want to spin around and around until the world blurs and my feet take flight. i want to nuzzle in a field of basil and swim in sediment rich waters.
today i was riding in a truck filled with plants and while at a stop light a pretty light yellow butterfly flew in the cab, took inventory of all the plants and then freaked out as we sped off- the changing speed was too much. i looked back at the butterfly flapping around the plants and the light was just right. the air was warm.
got shoes from kmart for $6.99, some child's small hands probably ran the sewing machine in their construction. the shoes persistently smell of rubber. they are navy blue canvas, i've worn them the past three days in a row.
mom found out today that the house they live in will be on the market as of january. mrs. charles wanted to give mom a heads up and a shot at purchasing. it would be nice if things fell in place. but it is also times like these where life feels completely out of your control. i wish my mother had a planning for the future gene. or even a planning for the next six months gene. and that i had the no need to be mean gene.
how can you tell if you're pretty or just average and vain? also, how does one tell the difference between someone who is nice and someone who is interested. and how much does pretty matter anyhow?
i want a puppy i can name pokey. wasn't there a children's book named poky the puppy? i think it's better with an 'e'.
my room looms before me with unpacked clothes and bags and boxes. i avoid everything in my room but the bed. the bed i snuggle in, nuzzle in, loose hours to sleep in.
the first of my forwarded mail came today. in celebration i'm having peppered brie and stoned wheat thins for dinner. although to be honest, i'd probably've had the same thing even if the forwarded mail hadn't come.
saw breakfast on pluto last night. love love love it. although when films have people with down syndrome portrayed in inclusive ways i'm always more partial.
Showing posts with label down syndrome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label down syndrome. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
where to begin again
i've felt absolutely no guilt or remorse over dropping this blog that i've told no one about and am pretty sure no one reads. but i've been thinking of writing lately and what is better than the practice of a blog. daily ramblings. no editing. no filter. well, maybe not no filter.
just finished my first week at the new job. yes, a job was finally found months and months after the tortures of temping. working for the marine geology and geophysics department at columbia. helping with archiving and database management. the campus is beautiful, the people are interesting and knowledgeable. and there's a chance that i might go to sea on a research ship. or rather i'd like to go to sea on a research ship and if i can pick up the skills needed i might be able to stow away. at lunch i go on hikes and get too much sun. there is a rose garden where frogs fornicate and goldfish swim. i now know what dog tooth violet leaves look like. the only downside is the commute. about two hours each way it takes up a major portion of the day. on the upside i'm reading a lot more. i just finished running with scissors the other day. might even want to see the movie. those strange memoirs are all the rage these days. i read in the fall that pieces book, and watched as james frey was torn limb from limb. and then a few weeks ago i read the glass castle. very moving and even more so because i could find paralles with my own life. choices my parents made that put us in alternative situations that the mainstream society would look down upon. we chose to see things as freedoms of choice but them might've just been expressions poverty.
currently i'm reading three books, gravity's rainbow (for about five months now and i haven't picked it up in at least three); mansfield park (2nd time), and the memory keeper's daughter. this last one is about a doctor who delivers his twin children on a snowy night only to discover that the daughter has down syndrome. topic close to home the book was lent to me by emhavs who's brother has down's. the novel is set in the late 1960's where thoughts of institutionalization are the status quo and the ideas of equal medical treatment and education were a struggle. it is an interesting read because my mom, when alice was born in 1981, was told she should put her in and institution. when my mom refused they told her all she could do was take her home and love her because she wasn't going to get past the mental age of a two year old.
some of my favorite diane arbus photos are of the women with down syndrome. taken at a time when the developmentally delayed were locked behind closed doors and the women who birthed them were shamed into thinking it was their fault. here are two of her pictures of people with down syndrome. i know it's been said that diane arbus demeaned her subjects with the photographs she took but i truly think photographing what was never seen or locked away and shunned by society empowers. shines a light on what was dark. plus, the attention she paid to them during the photographing and the importance felt by having a picture taken outweighs the people who choose to see the photographs as demeaning.
this is my favorite, made me think of alice. i was just so happy to see them outside and laughing. i believe it was taken in the late 60's early 70's.
just finished my first week at the new job. yes, a job was finally found months and months after the tortures of temping. working for the marine geology and geophysics department at columbia. helping with archiving and database management. the campus is beautiful, the people are interesting and knowledgeable. and there's a chance that i might go to sea on a research ship. or rather i'd like to go to sea on a research ship and if i can pick up the skills needed i might be able to stow away. at lunch i go on hikes and get too much sun. there is a rose garden where frogs fornicate and goldfish swim. i now know what dog tooth violet leaves look like. the only downside is the commute. about two hours each way it takes up a major portion of the day. on the upside i'm reading a lot more. i just finished running with scissors the other day. might even want to see the movie. those strange memoirs are all the rage these days. i read in the fall that pieces book, and watched as james frey was torn limb from limb. and then a few weeks ago i read the glass castle. very moving and even more so because i could find paralles with my own life. choices my parents made that put us in alternative situations that the mainstream society would look down upon. we chose to see things as freedoms of choice but them might've just been expressions poverty.
currently i'm reading three books, gravity's rainbow (for about five months now and i haven't picked it up in at least three); mansfield park (2nd time), and the memory keeper's daughter. this last one is about a doctor who delivers his twin children on a snowy night only to discover that the daughter has down syndrome. topic close to home the book was lent to me by emhavs who's brother has down's. the novel is set in the late 1960's where thoughts of institutionalization are the status quo and the ideas of equal medical treatment and education were a struggle. it is an interesting read because my mom, when alice was born in 1981, was told she should put her in and institution. when my mom refused they told her all she could do was take her home and love her because she wasn't going to get past the mental age of a two year old.
some of my favorite diane arbus photos are of the women with down syndrome. taken at a time when the developmentally delayed were locked behind closed doors and the women who birthed them were shamed into thinking it was their fault. here are two of her pictures of people with down syndrome. i know it's been said that diane arbus demeaned her subjects with the photographs she took but i truly think photographing what was never seen or locked away and shunned by society empowers. shines a light on what was dark. plus, the attention she paid to them during the photographing and the importance felt by having a picture taken outweighs the people who choose to see the photographs as demeaning.
this is my favorite, made me think of alice. i was just so happy to see them outside and laughing. i believe it was taken in the late 60's early 70's.
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